What kickboxing has taught me about agility and life

Last year I started kickboxing.

It was as an experimental solution to the action item in my New Years resolution that said: Find a sport that you enjoy doing and do it for at least two times per week.

So, I chose kickboxing. Mainly because it was close to where I live, but also because of these three other reasons:

First and foremost, I have been a fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer since I was 10 years old. She was not only smart and quick, but she was really kick-ass when it came to vampires and saving her friends. She was my hero. So needless to say, I had a secret dream of being like her one day.

Second, kickboxing really pushes me out of my comfort zone. I have never done sports regularly before, let alone combat sports. Kickboxing was my way of saying — I am all in! It is completely new, different and challenging.

Third, it is a paradigm shift. In my win-win mentality, where my entire life is based on striving for and finding win-win solutions, kickboxing challenges everything I have mastered. In kickboxing, you cannot negotiate. The moment you step in the ring, you have chosen a side — yours.

In her book “The Defining Decade” Dr. Meg Jay, a clinical psychologist, explains why the weak ties in our lives, people that we do not see regularly and with whom we do not have a lot in common, are generally the ones that make the biggest impact to our growth. This happens because our weak ties are outside of our comfort zone. When we interact with them, we have to practice a clearer way of communicating and we have to exercise different ways of thinking. This is what happened with me in the kickboxing crew. In an international group with ages varying from 13 to 73, I was faced with different challenges and learned many things I would not have learned in my day to day office or private life.

1. It is all about persistance. Often we only get to see the results of other people’s work not the long journey it took to get there. Specially with social media nowadays, we feel that things must come easily to us. Even if we stick to it for a longer time, most of the people stop doing sports, or anything really the moment they start to see progress. As if the moment something becomes manageable, it loses its allure. In kickboxing it is clear that the successful ones are those that hold through in the long run.
2. Never lose your target out of your eyes. Whatever you do, never lose your opponent out of your eyes. Sometimes one is so busy proving themselves and the many cool kicks they can do, that one gets unaware of its own weak spots. That is usually when you get hit.
3. Do what you do best. When the game is on, go for what you do best. Instead of trying what is cool, impressive and takes effort, go for where your strengths are and where you can make the biggest impact.
4. Mantain a 360 vision. It is very important to know your surroundings. Your surroundings can be your end, or if properly used, they can actually prove invaluable for your victory. You are never fully separated from your environment.
5. Never fight with anger or hate. Strong negative feelings take energy from you. Energy that you cannot afford losing. It is very important to not let people get to you.
6. Fight or flight but just don’t do nothing. My 73 year old sensei said last time, when something is coming towards you, you have 30 seconds to react before adrenaline kicks in. You can fight or flight. The one thing you must never do is just stand there. You cannot just do nothing. Then it hit me — thats life. Whenever something is not working anymore, you should either fight to improve it and find a solution or you should move on. The one thing you should not do is let it be the new standard and get used to it. Because before you know, inertia has settled in. When things are not okay, you just cannot do nothing.
7. Coaching is all about balance. Positive feedback is as important as constructive criticism and vice versa. Our sensei has an incredible sense of knowing when one needs that extra motivation and reassurance and when one needs an extra push to tap into more energy and will. I think coaching an agile team is the same. One needs to balance feedback on what is working great and what needs improvements as well as find the balance between nurture & inspiration and challenging & nudging. I always feel our work is 50% theory and thinking and 50% empathy and intuition.

It has not always been an easy journey. My aim was to always give my best, although my best changes from day to day. Sometimes giving my best meant to just show up and make it through. Regardless, I am sticking to kickboxing for 1 year and 4 months now — mainly because “The best investment you can make is in yourself” (Warren Buffett) and “You are not only brains” (Me).

Picture from https://www.oscarfavorite.com/2014/11/million-dollar-baby-2004.html#.VH4g9TGsUQk